Hi Slowly, Sometimes we do better at the DBing than it feels at the time.
Quote: When I help, he is annoyed, when I don't he let's things go bad. I'm detaching.
You are setting boundries and H knows this is now one you will not cross--he may test this once more just in case the boundry wasn't firm... Detaching sounds easy on paper, I find it most painful. Partly because I can do it, although it would be easier just to fix things and be done with it--then things snowball...such a cycle. If he's emailing OW, you can't change that. Look for the positive things he is doing and let him know what you appreciate. Did you know most of what we worry about never happens? Reading your thread has helped me thru some rough waters...
