Welcoming Myself Home

[slowly]

Hi HS - I'm glad these posts are helpful, I know in my early days I found the courage to continue from threads of the 'tribal elders' Yes, it is easy to slip back into doubting their word, and thought stopping is a skill that becomes a constant companion. Having numerous fun distractions that can be invoked quickly is key.

Well, the last day at work before a long weekend - the anticipation is simply delicious. NG is working very hard, but at home, so I'm quite relaxed at the moment. We have signed up for an art workshop tomorrow, dinner party Saturday nite, taking our bikes out on Sunday and hopefully doing nothing on Monday

Wishing you all a fabulous holiday. Slowly

[Dmsw4]

It does sound delicious. Have a wonderful weekend, and everyone else too. Mel

[Hopeful_Scared]

Hi Slowly,

Thanks for visiting my thread and thanks for the advice. Had a major backslide today but think it will be okay.

[slowly]

Hi Mel and HS - It has been a fabulous weekend, even with the dishwasher packing up Looks like NG has some work to catch up on tomorrow, which is unfortunate, but I'm sure I can put the time to good use.

Good night from over here. Slowly

[slowly]

Greetings from the slow end of town

NG is busy with work, and I'm just chilling out. No major dramas, a wonderful weekend just doing the next indicated thing. Lots of time to reflect and observe

Last night, we went to dinner at a reasonably posh restaurant, one we have been to before. A bit of background, NG and I both prefer to be comfortable when possible, so tend to live in our jeans. Since the bomb, of course, I've taken a more creative approach to my wardrobe and dress up when it is appropriate to do so. Usually when we go to 'nice' places for dinner. NG has made like he never noticed - not a word about 'honey you look great' or even making a small change to his attire. I kinda let it go - I was having fun dressing up, and everyone else has more than enough compliments to compensate for the lack of from NG

Well, whaddya know, last night as we get ready to go out, NG decided to change into a smart slik shirt and evening shoes. You could have blown me down with a feather, though I was careful not to go overboard with the compliments in case I scare the rabbit back into its hole The lesson here? They sure notice, and even if they say nothing, with sustained change, they eventually get the message.

Now, if it has taken NG this long to do something different about simple clothes for dinner, I wonder just how much longer I'll have to wait for the other more important stuff?

Just as well I'm signed up for taking things Slowly

[Dmsw4]

Isn't is fun to be amazed at the small details? Like a kid seeing something for the first time.

[slowly]

Hi Mel - Yes, isn't it sad that we lose the ability to be enchanted? I'm delighted in rediscovery

Just linking a useful thread here, for those times when I'm feeling low

Nuggets of Wisdom from the Veterans!

Thanks, JJ and everyone who contributed

Slowly

[Underdog]

Oh, Slowly, what a marvelous post!

He dressed up for both of you... I'm so happy to read this! See how your quiet and slow approach is making big changes? (No, HUGE!) Wow!

Actually, this is a bigger step than you think. He knows this is important to you and is making the effort to please you. I don't think this is small at all.

GO YOU!

Betsey

[slowly]

Hi Betsey - Yes, this was such a timely reminder that I do need to have even more patience than I thought possible. To be honest, I was begining to get a tad frustrated at the lack of progress, and had to force myself to really observe what was going on.

I must confess, there are still moments when I wonder if what I'm being told is the complete truth - not just about ow, but other things. Then it occured to me that if I make total transparency the basis of our relationship, we'd both be climbing up the wall. It's really up to me to enjoy the 'lattitude' that comes with having some personal space.

I've just come from H2H's place, where the need to watch our words, say less in general, seems to be a difficult habit to cultivate. This is my assignment then for the next week - to observe and manage my tendency to still say too much

Slowly

[BeingMe]

I have that problem too, Slowly. The need to explain myself, and to solve the problem NOW! I always end up saying far too much. Sigh! I need to work on that, but it seems to be coming naturally now that I have detached so much. I don't feel the need to constantly be initiating R talks (actually, I haven't since Bomb #2 a couple of weeks ago), or explaining myself. It's quite a freeing feeling.