Hi Pen - Its taken me almost a week to process your feedback I find thse days taking my time over things is the way to go, my new comfort zone.
Quote:

Speaking for myself, I’ve decided to analyse why I chose to participate in an affair isn’t really that productive. Will understanding why I entered one affair prevent me from entering the next? I doubt it – because the reasoning could easily change. I could enter affair one because I wasn’t paying attention to a friendship and let it get out of hand, and enter affair two because I’m feeling neglected in my marriage. What works proactively against future affairs for me is realizing the effects of affairs, and the pain they cause. I don’t want to cause, or feel, such pain again.


This is very likely NG's thinking, though he keeps telling me he will explain one day, just that he is not ready yet. I guess when I peel off the 'why' layer, I'm really trying to understand what sort of guy my husband is, that knowing the hurt it could cause, he still went ahead. He had to comfort his sister and pull her back from an attempted suicide some 15 years ago when she found out her H had been having an affair. He cannot claim to be ignorant of the pain this kind of betrayal causes. To this day, she will reference the affair as a source of her unhappiness But that's a different story altogether.

I suppose I'm at the phase of piecing where I'm looking at NG more carefully - do I really know this person? Am I liking what I see? He certainly does not seem to have grown from this experience - so many things are still all about him. As well, Monday musings, I suppose.

Slowly

A Liberal Allowance of Time