Slowly, Sage just wanted to add my 2 cents- Sage on one of your thread you talked about listening more and trying to listen for 4mins without jumping in.
That helped me realise that I rush in without really listening to H. I have worked to stop doing that. Now he is much more open and even turns off the TV to have a conversation ! Also I used to think that acting outraged on H's behalf when he tells me stuff that his family or other people have done to upset him, was the way to go.
Now I just listen and try to (silently) validate H. It works much better and he really opens up more.
Also, I used to really question H if he said hi to someone I didn't know or ask about something I was suspicious about. Now I just try to relax and H spits it out without my asking and looking nosy.
