I'm promising myself this is my last post before I hit the sack. The old Slowly would have spent the whole night putting away everything that had to be moved to accommodate the construction of the new wardrobe. The new Slowly has taken care of the major inconveniences, and left some for NG tomorrow, just so he feels he had some say in the new set-up. Plus, I need my beauty sleep

In picking the theme for this thread, I was making a conscious effort to ground myself on what was important, to me. Home to me is my heart, my partner, and my environment, in that order. And right now, I'm still struggling to feel welcome in my own heart. Because I find I'm not the person I thought I was. Somewhere along the line, I lost sight of myself, and am now deep in the process of reclaiming the real Slowly. Much of this is simply down to the fact that life can sometimes one can drift from one phase to another without apparently any conscious decision making process in place. There is a huge difference between taking each day as it comes, and making a conscious decision to take each day as it comes. I'm not sure I want to be in a situation again ever when a bomb drops and I had no warning, no internal clicking at all H2H - your question is absolutely pertinent
Quote:

Go back to the “what would you be doing differently” question – and ask: what is really keeping you from doing this? Is it fear? Is it adherence to the thought that without the “why” I can’t complete the picture, and therefore can never quite feel secure? I also guess that part of it is wanting H. to do some of that processing, hoping he will do his share in the protection of the M. My guess is that he probably does, just not in the manner or ‘language’ you would use or understand. Just because he seems to avoid it with you, doesn’t mean he’s avoiding it within himself.

Because somewhere in me is a fear that the 'why' may be something I cannot fix, and that if this is a situation where we have a fundamental shift in expectations of each other, then the only way is towards the path of irreconcilable differences. Mind you, I don't rationally believe this to be the case, but since when have emotions been rational

Let me illustrate a recent experience. I find myself enjoying uncomplicated company much more now than I used to before - perhaps it is an ability to see people without preconceived notions, something one acquires with life experience. NG however, remains as intolerant of social gatherings as he has always been. It makes for uncomfortable compromises, which we are both working hard on, but how long can we be accommodating of diverging interests? How do I maintain a healthy relationship and be true to myself? Now, this is not a big deal, as deals go, but I guess its a pattern I'm afraid to explore more fully.



A Liberal Allowance of Time