How can I possibly feel alone with so much support here? You all are the best antidote to flagging PMA, I must say.
Well, it has been a busy afternoon here too, furniture guys came and did their stuff, and I'm utterly delighted with the new set-up. NG happened to call while they were here, and was of course curious about the additional noise in the house, I just told him it is a surprise So yes, he has entered into the spirit of the game, and is texting me guesses every few minutes. Tomorrow nite should be interesting.
I promise I will respond to all your observations, you know I need my 'processing time' away from the boards, right But something I read earlier has been playing on my mind all afternoon, and I believe for me, the issues of 'why' are wrapped up in just what I expect of NG, of myself and of our relationship. Here's what Ellie had to say to zbaby44
Quote: I'm reminded of a friend of my H's - let's call him M. Birthdays really matter to M - but his wife is Swedish and comes from a rather emotionally cold family with some rigid ideas - one of which apparently is that birthday celebrations are for wimps.
It bothered M that his W didn't make a big deal of his birthday. One year H and M happened to be on a ski trip together over M's birthday, and my H baked M a cake. M was so grateful
Now, every year we bake a cake for M on his birthday, and M bakes a cake for my H on his (I bake one for my H too, so we have a LOT of cake!).
My point being - M's wife will probably never understand why M needs to have a birthday cake. But his good friends now meet that need for him, so it is no longer a sore point in his matrriage. In fact, we have fun trying to outdo each other, making our cakes fancier every year!
It's just probably not healthy for any of us to be too dependent on our spouses only for these things.
A moment of truth - I've worked hard to be everything NG could want or need - friend, lover, playmate, companion, financial partner, soulmate, and the list goes on. And was under the (mistaken) belief that those were his goals too, to be everything for me - this goes back to our history - when we met, we were two lost souls who fell into each other.
In reality, we have both grown, and enjoy healthy friendships with many other people. My problem seems to be in not recognising that both he and I have moved on from wanting or needing everything from each other. That it is OK for us to be validated by others. That it is not a threat to our relationship. Or at least, it is a threat only if I let it be one.
My need to explore the minutae of emotions, and to vent, are clearly met by all you folks here. NG is neither ready nor interested in fulfilling this need, and I'm perfectly OK with that. Can I say epiphany? Now, with this filter in place, I'll go back and look at my unresolved issues and seek peace.
So yes, he has entered into the spirit of the game, and is texting me guesses every few minutes. Tomorrow nite should be interesting. 
But something I read earlier has been playing on my mind all afternoon, and I believe for me, the issues of 'why' are wrapped up in just what I expect of NG, of myself and of our relationship. Here's what Ellie had to say to zbaby44 
Slowly
