Quote: He's not ready to deal with his own guilt, and if you push him to do that, you will just push him away from you.
How true is that sentence...!!... our h deffinetily dont want to deal with guilty issue... but, inside of them be sure they had thught about their confution, hurts they caused, and behavior... My c use to comment me that men use to live by sceneraios... by the contrary, we tends to look forward, all the points and angles of our lives as a whole unit...!!... So, when they are in the scenarios of a unit familly, together, happy, the feel so confortable, but is that in a minute, when they passed the door and be in another snecearios, they analyze and enjoy that scene without thinking in the other one... Thats why is so simple for them to have an A... is true that affair use to came in a trouble M, but the M has trouble bc they are not working or focusing in M to work... Never pretend to receive from him an explanation of why... bayme he can give you the typical: Ow wanst the cause, but the consencuence... bc this explanation make them feel less guilty... My h use to tell me he doesnt want to hurt anyone... maybe it is true, but he hurts and damage a relation bc his incapcity or negative of looking inside of them... In my case, supposelly my h is going finally to C... so time will tell me if he is receiving a propper advices and tools...!! All i can tell you that after sking myself and myself, again and again, why... i feel better feeling more each day that it is not bc me... that isnt bc OW value more or deserves him more... is bc him and i cant do nothing different of working on myself and my marriage to resolve his own confution and crisis... I need to acept i hadnt close that door (my c use to talk me about a door we need to close to work on future and release past there).. i still feel insecure about his moves, but i hope time gives me more and more peace... and yes... i am more calm and in pace than a year before...!!... Excuse my english, im spanish... and good luck with that furniture remodelation... an issue i am wishing a lot to do, but i have no money to do it by myself... Andrea
