Falling asleep at the "drop of a hat" very well CAN be life-threatening. Does she fall asleep at the wheel?
Some basic sleep hygiene may also help. Sit up straight on the sofa. Sofa for sitting, not sleeping. Bed for sleeping. Same bedtime each night. Same wake-up time each day, even on holidays and weekends. There's more. I have been through sleep hygiene "therapy" at the recommendation of my doctor. It HELPS!!
Wow! I have to say thanks to the response... HP, GEL, and Stubborn replying within minutes... it's like the all-stars of this forum! LOL!
Anyway... it's hard to say what her LL is. It seems to change and often makes little difference. Its a moving target. I think it could be the quality/fun activity times. I've tried the process of elimination with no clear success.
The one consistency is passion. She often requests passion. I've tried lots of things that I thought were passionate and I've even asked her to refine and define it for me. Spell it out... hit me with a billboard... only to have the vague response of either "you know... PASSION" or "I dont know exactly..." or just a shrug.
Like I said... she doesnt make a request for ML and has told me she could easily do without it except that she knows that it would not go over well with me. She doesnt even understand that it is not normal or healthy to have zero sex life with your husband.
No, she doesnt fall asleep at the wheel. Never has. As for the therapy... that sounds good in theory, but would be incredibly difficult to apply. There is no routine to her falling asleep... one night it could be 8:30 the next, could be 10:30... just the other night she was joking around with me and singing product jingles one minute... and then I look over at her and BAM... lights out. She spent that night on the couch until 11:30. The night before that... she was out at about 9:30. On the couch til 3am or so...
The therapy sounds good, but you need to be willing. I dont think she would.
Many LD people do not understand this, especially I would say LD women. However, I am convinced you have other issues at play here that are affecting her SD.
As far as asking her to define "passion", it's a fair question of course for you to ask...but often it's very difficult to define "passion" for some people. I realized that myself when trying to explain it to my H. Especially when I realized that my definition of "passion" wasn't the same as his.
I would challenge you to stop accepting shrugs and "I don't knows" as an answer though. Let her know that you are more than willing to do what she needs, but it's up to her to tell you what that is in specifics. If she doesn't do that then she cannot put it off on you that you don't meet those needs...you cannot read her mind afterall.
Don't assume what she will/won't be willing to do, try it anyway. If you can show her the health reprocussions of the sleep disorders...you might be surprised to find what she'll be willing to do.
Don't pre-empt her. Give her all the info and allow her to make those decisions.
I agree anyone has to be motivatedto seek any therapy or make any changes. You can't make her do this. But you can keep it front and center so she can't ignore it. She may get mad, but what's it worth to you? The little you describe here sounds classic though. Good sleep hygiene may not make a difference in your SL. Can't guarantee that. But the sleep issue clearly is a problem for you in your M. Make it a health issue.
