Whew! This sounds somewhat similar to my sitch, except that at least my W does some work around the house. I might suggest that you get at least one other book: Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud and Townsend. It sounds like you need to learn how to set those boundaries.
I, too, felt (and still feel sometimes) like my W's slave. I set a boundary about laundry, and now she is responsible for her and DD3's laundry. What a burden lifted!
As for S, well, count yourself lucky, dude. It's maybe two times a year for me. But I know how anything under your preferred frequency can hurt. Read the books.
As I told someone else earlier today, it's a long and bumpy road ahead of you.
