Thanks that was what I needed. A little support that let me know that I am doing the right thing.
From reading Love Must be Tough, is where I got the statment. It seems to make alot of sense. The idea was to let W know that she is not trapped here, but the bottom line is that if she wants to leave it is HER decision not MINE and I will NEVER buy into it. I told her that if she decides to leave then I will respect HER decision but, as you said, she will have to face up to the fact that it is HER decision not mine. As I told her I shall always remain commited to her, my kids and our family reguardless of what she does.
So direct answers to your questions. First NO I do not plan to D. I think I figured that talking about it may calm her down and let her know that I am willing to listen, probably not the best idea, it seemed the thing to do at the time.
I think she is trying to get me to buy into her "plan" even though I have told her flat out that I will not agree to a divorce. I think I almost need to tell her to GROW UP and realize there are responsibilities and commitments that are worth putting every possible human effort into, namely our kids.
I think I need to let her process what was said and I think as you suggested (I had that stance before as well) refuse to talk about "What it would be like" after a D. As I have said to her, for me talking about it seems to point to the direction that it is becomming a plan, one I will not agree to. I hope she begins to see the light and grows up, but if not I will never agin be a doormat. Loving caring and strong.
Thanks again for the words of encouragement. It helps me to face the next day
