quote: ----------------- As far as the stonewalling thing goes, I think the idea is to never let the argument get to that point. But...being that you're human, perhaps you could give a specific time frame so that she knows you are not using the "I need space" thing as a way to get out of having to talk about it. Something like, I gotta get out of here; I'll be back in 30 minutes so we can continue this. ------------------
I hear ya it does make sense on setting a time frame to come back to the convo. Ill have to give that a try. Currently I asked W if we could avoid R talks for a week, unless there is a burning issue that she really needs to vent on. So Im thinking there wont be any heated convos for a week but im sure it will get heated again after that, so as long as I have a plan that should be good.
quote: -------------- I too have done the follow him out the door thing in order to keep the fight alive and well and!!!!! I even did it after I had read the book. Sheesh, sometimes my own stupidity just blows my mind. I knew it wasn't a good time to try and resolve anything (aka, fight) but I couldn't stop myself because I was too far gone in Temper Tantrum Land. I honestly don't mind if H takes a break from a discussion but he must come back to it. No fair just walking out and expecting that to be the end of it. ------------
I guess life and R's seem to be all about keeping a focus and clam head at all times even tho we are all human. Tends to make things.. hmm .. interesting ya thats the word..
Quote: --------------- The clothes.........that's a sticky one. My gut reaction is this: I think it's fine to state your opinion on her clothing but then you back off and let her do what she decides. She's an adult, after all. If she looks ridiculous flaunting butt cleavage (and let's face it, WHO doesn't!) then let her look silly. --------------
Hmm good thoughts. Im almost wondering if its more along the lines of I need to avoid comments unless im asked for them. And even then they need to be carefully worded. I think my W is having a problem with self image, she keeps saying stuff like "geez your gonna weigh less than me soon!" I have lost about 20 lbs. Funny thing is tho she wont say words of affirmation to that end. Sounds like you and I are alike in that area. LL's are PT and W of A for me.
Quote: ---------------- Anyway, it is a fine line that you are walking. Maybe others will be able to chime in here. I think you should be able to say, Man those pants are low...they look great but I don't know if I want other people seeing you like that! with a smile, but then I think you should back off and let it go. She's a grown up, albeit one with a really unfortunate fashion sense. ----------------
Yes and yes. Other input would be much appreciated. Not sure if I need to start a new post titled.. How should or should not males comment on females clothing? Hmm need to work on the title a little more.. As far as W's fashon sense I think shes trying to look like a younger version of herself. Back when things started getting difficult in our R she went out and got a tatoo on her butt, the type that shows when you wear low waist jeans. I think subconsciously shes trying to show it off.. Not too sure..
Thanks again for the insights, they do help shed a little light on my sich. Hope things go well for you. Warm weather is on its way here too, hopefully your H will begin to appreciate your clothing and say so
