Quote: ----------- What are your plans for after the business is dissolved? -----------
Currently I have two options as well as working on my resume (posted on monster). One is to go to work for a consulting firm that pays a salary, the other is to work for a friends consulting firm that pays on commission. The second option is more attractive as I do have a number of clients that I could bring with me to enable me to make a decent wage to start with.
Quote: -------------- If I were your wife, I would want to see you aggressively pursuing what comes next, in the form of sending out resumes and putting together a plan of action. I abhor uncertainty. I'm sure this has to do with growing up in the manner in which I did and I also left home at an early age. I can tolerate pretty much anything with regards to my husband's job plans, except indecision and uncertainty. I need to see him strong and capable. He is not always this way but that is my own challenge to work through. -----------------
I hear ya loud and clear. The funny thing about all this is that even when we first met I was in a similar state of uncertainty and the thing that W told me she admired was my loyalty to my clients (she was one of them). The funny part is that is almost appears that thet loyalty is what is causing her problems. Funny how things change. I think that what you are saying here makes alot of sense and may be the tip of the iceburg for what W is looking for from me.
Quote: ------------ With how you relate some of your convos with your wife, I can see how she would feel controlled. NOT that you are consciously trying to do that, but just in the particular communication patterns you employ with her.
I can't say what you should do about that, except to perhaps read some communication-in-relationships type books. I know lots of people love mars/venus but I personally hated it!
Gottman writes really good communication books and I found them very useful and helpful, even to this day.
-----------
Read V&M didnt really do much for me as well. Do you have any titles from Gottman? I think I have read one (Seven Priciples..) and found it quite informative. I think Im just having problems applying the concepts. That is what Im actively working on with new T. Sometimes I think I have nothing but rocks in my head..
Quote: ---------------- My H used to be controlling himself and it wasn't until recently (say, within the last year) that I have recognized it as a lack of communication skills coupled with fear--and not a desire to control, necessarily. ----------------
EXACTLY. It seems lately that everything I say comes out the wrong way or gets taken the wrong way. So current strategy is to avoid talking about such items, until I can learn to better communicate on a level that W understands (from the heart not the head). Hopefully I can understand and communicate better soon!
Thanks for the insights. It helps to better understand where the problems are and what the view points are from the other sex.
