Quote: -------------- Again I have made the mistake of change for W. No more. I am changing and gaining self confidence day by day. Change is now for me and my self image. If this brings W closer then that would be WONDERFUL, but I cannot continue to expect that from W. --------------
This is good, but you do need to make a change for her, you need to specifically figure out what her emotional needs are, and meet those. That is how you keep the affair monster at bay. The trick to personal change is figuring out what parts should be changed, and what requests are just a shotgun blast at the problem.
Just so you can get focused on this, please list out the current changes you are making to you and list the changes you are making for the relationship.
Also, what is it that your wife really needs from you that she is not getting? I will give you a hint about the most important one to her, it is likely the one you find hardest to do.
quote: ----------- I think I need to avoid talking about change, or more specifically, what it is that I am doing or trying to do and simply let her see and realize for herself. The more I talk about this the more it is taken the wrong way. More of the same here would not be a good move. -----------
Outstanding. ACTIONS are what matter. You can promise the world and deliver nothing, or you can deliver a pound of dirt and tell her you are still digging for the rest. Which one will she believe? Be long on goods, and short on talk.
I am still curious about the flowers making her mad. Do you think it was the money spent? Could it be that she didn't want someone at the office to know that you cared about her? I am not suggesting, I am wondering what your thoughts are.
You have really gone after fixing your marriage. This is good. Your marriage is worth it, your wife and kids are worth it. Keep it up.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
