Quote: New goals 1. Have a convo that ends without anamosity on both sides. 2. Stay consistantly up in the face of her animostiy. 3. Spend more time taking kids out to fun places. 4. Laugh at least once a day. 5. Notice the little things W does (compliments need to be specific and well meant).
1. You have no control over her response. It's pretty much a given that she isn't going to be happy initially with any attempt you make at conversations geared to address the issues in the marriage. In fact, that will probably be her response to any conversation at all, no matter how innocuous.
2. I don't know that staying "up" is either healthy or helpful. Someone attempting an ongoing display of "happy brightness" (which may not be what you mean, but is how I understood it), in the midst of catastrophe is going to be irritating. If by "up", you mean something of a strong, calm resolve to not be drawn into angry arguments or to wallow in wells of depression - then that is the right note to strike, IMO.
3&4. Seeking moments of joy is good. Spending time with kids is great. Consider the possibility that kids don't always have to be entertained in order to spend time with dad. It could be as simple as inviting them to ride with you while running errands, walking around the neighborhood, working on a project together.
5. Don't go overboard digging for compliments on small things. If you're talking about those "honey, that was great" sorts of things. I think there is a deep well of need within all of us that wants to be appreciated - that's kinda different, IMO, from compliments. And they need to be real, not some flowery bs pulled for the moment. Compliments to me, tend to be related to an event or occurance. Appreciation is more of an acknowledgement of the person as a whole. Details available, if I'm not being clear.
