Regarding paying for travel: I've worked for several small organizations over the years where I made reservations with my own card and was reimbursed. For those of you who work for or have always worked for big companies, this may be unfamiliar behavior. But it's certainly possible. I don't find it suspicious in the least. The idea of calling your wife's company without telling her and checking on this is outrageous. How would you feel if someone from personnel stopped you in the hallway and said, "Your wife/hubby called this morning to check up on you." 'Nuff said on that one.
On the debt: Why not get your financial advisor to draw up the paperwork, along with the interest numbers (as you mentioned) and let her see exactly what it would look like. Stopping credit card use for anything you cannot pay off at the end of the month would have to happen. I wouldn't wait for her to come forth with ideas and suggestions. If push comes to shove, you can always bring it down to the finish line with everything done but her signature, and then say, "If you don't have a better idea, please sign here."
