Talked to W yesterday, she seemed rather upset so I thought I should ask what was up (This may not have been a great idea not too sure yet).
She told me that she felt betrayed by our financial woes, and is finding it difficult to trust me at all. W told me that she assumed (on her own) that I would take care of all finances and that there would be no problem with spending freely on credit cards etc.
Just to update we have numerous credit card debts piling up. Currently we are able to meet all obligations, however, my concern is that my business is begining to look like I may have to take a drop if not look for other work and this would make it that we would not be able to meet current obligations.
I discussed with W about trying to consolidate debt before I have to salary incomming and that started this latest round if bad feelings.
Second item bothering W that she was upset with my not keeping her informed of what I was planning and when. The other nite I stayed for a second martial arts class (knowing that the kids would be in bed, and W more than likely as well). She told me she felt deserted. I did let her know that I assumed from her actions (not willing to even sit in the same room with me after the kids go to bed) that she didnt really care what I was doing.
Im sure this was not a good move on my part and have slpped myself silly over it and have put that on my long list of actions never to repeat.
Third item on her list was MIL. My mother is rather old and old world and rubs W the wrong way almost constantly. I have spoken to mother about this (nicely and not so nicely) but she always reverts back to her old ways.
Fourth and final item was that W felt that she was not allowed to take time for herself. Go to Yoga etc. In the past I did make her feel guilty about time spent away from our kids (she would return from a work trip to have a girls nite out the next day). I informed her that I do not begrudge her this time and I encourage it. I told her that I have dealt with the ill will towards her outings and have no problem with them.
I then encouraged her to go out that very day and have some "me" time. She took me up on the offer and hopefully she will continue to do so.
So I guess the question that im trying to figure out today is, how do I deal with our financial situation so that W can begin to trust me again. Currently I have no ideas. First reaction is to cut up all credit cards, but I dont think that would help things currently.
Any ideas from anyone would be greatly appreciated.
