-------------- I would also ask her, again, to read SSM. It might help if you told her that both of you are described in the book, but don't explain how or why, let her read it to find out. -------------- Im a little afraid to follow through on this one. I think in the past I have been persuing too much on the intimacy issue and that seems to have pushed her away even more. So im concerned that if I ask her to read this she may throw out the big D.
------------- No to be facetious, but you do know that sex is NOT the only problem in your marriage, don't you? Your marriage is broken, and in need of repair. your wife probably already knows this, but I doubt she understands how affected by it, you are. Do you know what her issues are with you? The real ones? ---------------
This is where my greates difficulties lie. I have asked numerous times "what she wants from our R" and had many vauge and contradictory answers. Items like "I want to be with an ethical and cool guy", "I want to feel like im in control of my life" , and in the same sentence, "I want to feel taken care of". Im beginning to think that W doesnt really know what she wants?!Most of these talks dont end well, I try to understand what she is saying and feeling and ask for more details, specifics etc and that really sets her off. the line of "I shouldnt have to tell you what to do, or what I need" pops up numerous times.
----------- Keep working on you, ConfuseMe. That is the first place to start. -----------
That seems to be the only thing I can do right these days, but even that seems to bother W. I have been spending more and more time working out and going to Martial Arts class, but that seems to be bothering W. Lately, on Friday nites, I have been going over to a friends house to play cards (used to do that before we met), before I go, or plan on going, I ask her if "we have any plans" or "if there is anything she wants to do" that nite, the usual asnswer is no so I ask if it is ok if I go. The usual answer is sure but I almost wonder if there really is something she wants to do togeather. I dont know, I guess all I can do is continue to ask.
Thanks for the input, I have started "keeping my eyes open" but havent "seen" anything concrete yet.
