Ok she told you she needs to feel taken care of and in control of her/your lives. Did you ask her what would make her feel that way?
Really, ask her that. If she says "I don't know"...then calmly and lovingly say. "Ok I can buy that for now, but put some thought into it and let's talk about it tomorrow night. I would really like to know, because I do love you and want to know what I can do to make sure that feel the love I have for you."
Then....do something like buy a bottle of wine for the next evening pour her a glass, ask her if she has thought about the conversation and let her know you'd like to sit down and talk some more about it.
