I am trying to implement all of NOPkins suggestions. They are concise, but full of meaning! It is tough to make some of these changes, but I am up for the challenge. I have been pulling my weight for some time now, and it feels good. I had been a bit clingy and needy since the bomb, but since finding this thread, I have changed the way I express myself to my wife. My overall disposition has gone from down to optimistic. After Nopkins suggestions, I have hardened myself more. I grabbed W as she was preparing to leave, pulled her close, gave her a big smooch on the forehead and walked away smiling and saying "Have a great day!". I exuded confidence, she looked at me blinking rapidly and stood there a bit dumbfounded. We haven't kissed since I went in for surgery several weeks ago, and I initiated that one as well.
W goes to her own C, rec'ed by her sister. At first we were going to see him together, but W said she wanted to go alone. I went to my own C a few times, then we went to my C together twice. If W pushes the trial sep thing again, I will insist on seeing her C before we implement anything, since it is his idea, and My C thinks it is absurd. At that time I will make it perfectly clear that I will NOT move out, that it is her choice to leave or stay. W has consistently shortchanged my contributions to our M, and I know that with her slant, her C is telling her to walk away. Her C is a die hard old schooler, and they are going over all of her family issues, seemingly from infancy!
Nop, OM's W is the one that clued me in to A. We did compare, and found some rather discouraging info, first the call freq. The numbers I mentioned earlier were from W to his #, and did not include frmm OM to W calls. In Oct, shortly after getting new phones for he & his W, OM got another phone, this time same Co. as my W,so they could get free calls (this after a $150 cell bill that he told her he "would take care of"). OM's W said OM told her it was a company phone, but he is getting the bill at home (she opened, it was brief version, no call info included, he still feaked out) These are slap in the face facts that are painting an ugly picture.
I have firmly grabbed myself and given a good shake to loosen up all of the mud that I have been dragging along. I am seeing things more clearly, and I know that the facts are my friends. I can't prove anything yet, and I really don't know how I will feel if I do prove an A. I want to think that we can work through the problems at hand, but when I look into W's eyes now, I can't help but think that the next words out of her mouth are going to be a lie.
