HP, As far as excuses, I was doing something about it, but I failed to clue W in on the emotional ramifications of the prob. If I had, she would have blamed the prob more than me and/or herself during that time. So clearly, there was no excuse for the way I handled the sitch, letting my embarrasment hinder my expression of my feelings. This morning W reiterated that she didn't see any hope. She said she "did too much for too long." I can't argue with that! I said that I now realize how much I hurt her, and how horrible it makes me feel.

I asked her if she was planning any major steps, and she said she would let me know before she filed any papers. She made it clear that the pain we are headed towards to her is better than the pain she is running from.

The autoimmune thing is crazy, but the med worked. It may come back, but the stuff I read said that it will not get worse, IOW, if it showed up as a couple of bumps the first time (yep), that will be the case next time. If 100 bumps(like the scary pics on the web), then.... Luckily I only had a few, but in a BAAAAAD place With the med, they disappear rapidly, and I haven't seen any since December. As far as a rockin sex life, what a dream that is! T helped me to get past the head probs I had with ML & abuse. Doc gave me the meds for my member. Now I need W to give me the chance. She made it clear that ain't happenin, so I will keep trying to make her miss me....