I made a BIG mistake with my H initially myself. When I first began addressing our SR I thought I was being supportive in how I was phrasing things. Looking back now I can see I was speaking vaugely and in euphamisms. I wasn't being specific about what I needed....you know what? That's a tough thing to learn to do.
There are still times in this past year that I thought I was being perfectly clear and not being vague, but now when I look back...Dang! I was about as clear as mud!
So, and I'm not coming down on you here k? I have a feeling your W did try to be as clear as she could be (at least at the time.) Don't give up, it takes time to learn to communicate clearly w/each other.
I found that all too often my H and I would do this little dance around each other's feelings...we'd try not to hurt the other...so absolutely nothing came out clearly. It's really quite amazing how that little self-destructive dance works. You think you're doing something nice and supportive by trying to avoid hurting the others feelings when communicating something...when in fact all you are doing is being.....vague.
Try to remind yourself...your W isn't gone yet. As long as she's still there you two still have a chance. As someone else once said on one of these boards...."an old couple was asked the secret to their long marriage...the W replied, we never gave up at the same time." So......If you give up, and she gives up...you can be guaranteed what your outcome will be. Cheer up, and hang in there!!! If you love her, it's worth it
