Re what to day to MC: When the two of you are talking at home, you probably feel like you're the moderator, that it's up to you to see that conversation happens. When you go to the MC, let him/her be the moderator. In your own mind, give up the responsibility/obligation to make anything happen. I don't mean that you shouldn't have agenda items or stuff that you want to be covered.
But don't feel like you have to keep the conversational ball rolling. If a silence happens, let it alone. Resist the temptation to fill it. Silence in the therapist's office, especially when you're new to that C or to the process in general, can feel like dead air on the radio-- excruciatingly uncomfortable (even more so when you're conscious that the meter is running). You want to fill the silence with anything.
Let the C worry about the dead air. After all, you want your W to come out of the bushes into the clearing, so let her be the one to feel uncomfortable and say something to break the silence. I'm not saying to clam up; clearly if you have something to say, say it. But in my own case, so many times I wanted to know what was going on with my partner, but when we left the session, I realized that I had done most of the talking. Well I already KNOW what I think!
I always wanted to come away from the C session feeling that I had learned something, or that I had encountered something new. If I was the one who did most of the talking, that didn't happen.
Also don't expect anything to happen any time soon. Sometimes (although IMHO it doesn't have to be this way) you spend the first few sessions just telling your story. The C my bf and I recently went to did NOT operate this way. She let us both talk for a while and then we got into it right away, with her examining and commenting on the way we interacted. As good as she was, and she was one of the best I've ever been to, we recently quit after a dozen or so sessions with basically no progress.
