W & I watched Simon Birch last night, a rather sad movie. We had a little wine, & W began dozing off toward the middle. I moved in for a wake up kiss, ended up breaking her wine glass, & got a bit emotional myself. She woke up during the commotion of cleanup, and was awake for the rest of the movie. We were both a bit emotional after, and I said I didn't want to sleep in the spare room. She said I didn't have to if I didn't want to... I grabbed my pillow and made the move. She was asleep withing seconds as usual. I put my hand on her hip, and began to let it wander a bit . I told her I wanted her, and she said that she was really tired and had already drifted off to sleep. I backed off a bit but kept my hand on her side. At least she had more to say than no. This morning I tried to get close and hold her, but she tossed and turned and made it difficult. Finally I could tell she was awake, so I tried the same move as last night. She jumped out of the covers! Oh well. I tried. I will sleep in our BR again tonight, without any outward advances like last night. (I don't want to push her away, so I will ease into this) Baby steps, right? She said she didn't want me to visit Granny with her, so that date idea is shot down. There is a blizzard outside, so no walk.
I am pleased with the progress yesterday, but a little frightened by W jumping out of bed, and her faraway eyes this morning. I don't know if my advances made her regret letting me back in the BR, but I'm staying there! Baby steps.
She must get a kick out of being able to turn me down. I'm willing and able to put up with it, and expect her to put me through some torture (mental) before she begins to open up.