There you go! That's a great idea! :-) It's something you both have an interest in, something you would both enjoy. And guess what? It's quality time .... together!
To respond to something in the post before this of yours...you stated that your W waited to let you know there was a problem. I can speak from my own experience on this. I didn't wait...I kept telling, talking, and trying to get my H to see there was a problem...but nothing got through. It's my guess she didn't wait until the last minute...but you finally "got it" when something drastic happened.
How close was I to actually being a WAW? Well lets see...I had someone who was VERY interested in me, made it quite clear that he wanted to take my H's place in my life (no I didn't have an affair of any kind...this is just someone who wanted to have a R w/me and was vey blunt about it). So if I wanted a replacement for him, there was one available (no, I wouldn't have done that...I'd have preferred to be on my own). I have my own job, so I didn't need to rely on him for money (I'm here because I choose to be, not because I feel I have to be.) I was deeply hurt to the point that I cried daily, my self esteem was shot to hell, and if it wasn't for my son I would have used my job to avoid coming home. On top of that...I was checking out rental properties during my lunch breaks. In all honesty, I was gearing up to move out...because I knew I couldn't afford our home on my own. I guess you could say I was VERY near to leaving w/my son.
So you might ask next what woke my H up. Well believe it or not we had gone away for the weekend...it was our anniversary. We went out that first evening to a karaoke bar to try to have some fun (I'm a bit of a ham). I don't remember exactly what my H said now...but it had something to do with us and the future. I had previously talked to him about our situation and was constantly assured he would "fix the problem"..whatever that meant.
He had tried herbal supplements, and did finally go get a complete physical. When everything came back very normal I was stymied. It was as if in his mind this was all my problem now. He knew I was unhappy but the Dr's told him he was normal. I had mentioned counseling to him before which he always kind of side-stepped. This particular evening I took his comment about the future and told him that if we didn't get counseling we wouldn't be having another anniversary. His response to me was "we can't afford that" (after spending 2K on artwork that same day)....so I turned around looked him dead seriously in the eyes and said "can you afford not to? Because I will not continue to live this way if we don't get help. I'm too young to live celibate."
Interestingly enough we did still end up having a fairly fun evening. But I guess what I said, or how I said it, or the look on my face finally got through to him that I was VERY serious. Approximately 2-weeks later we had our 1st counseling appt. FYI, he finally gave in on counseling May 04.
He gave in right when I was about to give up. Because he did give in I felt I owed our R the chance to see what would happen.
That gives you some background on me now doesn't it? LOL.
