KEB, I didn't see your post before you edited it, and it really sucks that you feel this pain too. I don't need to know specifics, but I know how deep the pain goes. I told my W about the abuse a long time a go. She put it on a shelf and forgot about it. I buried it deeply again. I brought it up again after the bomb, and she admitted forgetting. I buried the pain deeply, but it resurfaced as insecurity, self doubt, self deprecation, self pity, and low self esteem. I suppose all that combined makes me pretty self centered Unfortunately, now that W has heard about my abuse, it seems like she sees me as damaged goods. There are no problems between us that are insurmountable, in my view, but the LD to her has been a nightmare of proprtions that are only now becoming clear. Bringing the SA to light seems to have cemented in her mind that things are beyond hope. To me the fact that we have talked about it brings me hope, as she is the first person I told. I know I will be a better person after the smoke clears, but I don't really care about that if she isn't around. Better but more lonely doesn't seem better at all.
