My bf's ex was a WAW. He says she never gave him a clue, just said one day "I want a divorce." That was six years ago and he's still furious. He keeps his anger at a fever pitch (IMHO) so he doesn't have to face the fact that NO ONE walks away from a 25 year marriage for no reason. I don't think he can face his part in it. He'll say stuff like "Well, I know I'm not perfect," but I think he thinks it would kill him to feel the depth of his part of the responsibility for the dissolution of that marriage.
When I say I'm unhappy about something, he also takes it to mean HE'S wrong and sees it as criticism. Sometimes I don't think he has a speck of compassion or empathy in his body. Actually what I think it is is that he's in so much internal pain, that he can't bear to try to empathasize with mine or it activates his.
Is there some way she could have phrased her cries for help so that you wouldn't have heard them as criticism?
Re the "I've made it all about me" comment. I want to know your point of view. I want to know what it's like for YOU. I think we're on a bit of a hair-trigger on this board about hijacking (okay, so I'm one of the worst hijackers). But when I post, I want to know what it was like for YOU and how YOU handled it. I want advice, but I like the details of how that advice worked out in your life. I'm very interested in your thoughts.
