All right, I'll dive in along with KEBall and Mr. Fixit. I am not attempting to hijack, but I will give a few facts so I can join in the fray. I am an LDH, with a near WAW. Trouble is, I haven't been such a good provider, as a slef employed artist blacksmith, and we don't have kids for her to feel guilty about. I thought I had shown her how much I love her and how much I appreciate her, but clearly, my attempts weren't meeting the mark. After W dropped the bomb, I started to think about why I am LD, and whay I could do about it. Some of the SD prob is mental, probably the majority of it. I was abused, always had low self esteem, and now after this thread, I will have my testosterone checked. I know I am not gay, and W has never said anything about that. She would be ready to go a couple of times a day. I could go a couple times a week. But then once she began to withdraw, we could go for two weeks without ML. When W would initiate, it would always be late at night, as we were drifting of to sleep. When she finally said something about my SD, I asked why she never initiated at other times, like in the morning noon or showering, etc. We continued with more of same while her resentment and pain grew. I had no idea of how painful this was to her. We never sought help. And now, she wants nothing to do with ML, and says she is ready to run. She said that in MC, and again over the weekend. I took the initiative to move into the spare room. At first this seemed like a good idea, but after reading this thread, I now wonder. I have refrained from trying it initiate after the first couple of tries, for fear of pursuit, but now I see that this is really more of same, and perhaps my 180 would be to keep trying to initiate. When I came home with the SSM book, she looked at it and me with derision. I fear that it is too late, but after reading this thread and the one prior, (so much for getting work done today ) I see a glimmer of hope. I will try to exude confidence, and will let my desire show. I wish I could get my W to read these threads, but she is pretty clamped down right now. I will read them again and again, and when it all sinks in , I will act. In the meantime, do I avoid pursuit and give her the space she is asking for, or do i follow these pointers and make advances?
I appreciate all of the insight from the HDW's here. My glimmer of hope is that you all were willing to work things out. W sez that only couples with kids bother to work things out. I think that a 12 year relationship is worth working on, kids or not. My glimmer of hope at home is the fact that she sez she doesn't know what she wants. Thanks for the space in your thread KEBall, you are getting a lot of help over here.
