I am finally learning the truth, but not from my H

[trustinginHim]

An opportunity presented itself and I was able to talk to my H about the failure of our scheduled intimacy time. He said he had noticed 'we' had not followed through with it as previously discussed and proceeded to give me several excuses as to why it had happened. I responded by saying how none of the excuses he had just given me had mattered in the past if he wanted sex or to simply be with another woman for whatever reason. No excuse--nothing, could have stopped him then. He agreed with me, but said that it was his addiction to the sex/intimacy that drove him to behave in that manner. Now that he is recovering from the addiction, he just doesn't have the drive that he used to. And that was pretty much the end of the discussion.

Interestingly, he later asked me to accompany him on his travels for his job next week, since he would be leaving Tuesday and not returning until Thursday to pick me up to go with him for his mother's surgery Friday, then not to return again until Sunday. I agreed to go, but I had no idea if he had anything in mind or why he wanted me to accompany him unless it was in an effort to keep him accountable during his travels. So I told him I could not be his Holy Spirit about all this even though I have recently and wrongly tried to, and he was just going to have to learn to be accountable on his own. He agreed, and he went on to say that he simply wants my company on his trip since we wouldn't see each other much next week if I didn't go with him. So I happily agreed, but have no expectations. I expect that I should be able to get a lot of reading and relaxing done.

LG--keeping the "acting as if" strategy in mind and I think I am feeling a lot better