I am finally learning the truth, but not from my H

[trustinginHim]

Hi WW-good to hear from you after all this time. Glad also that things are still going well for you and your H.

All I can say is that slowly it all went away as no more hiding and cheating were revealed.

I am really hoping that this will be the case with my marriage.

...when it is all said and done, you may have just plain wasted too much time in the worry mode.

I agree with you wholeheartedly on this, and I think I may have finally been able to turn it all over to the Lord.

My H came home from a men's meeting at church Monday night. One thing that was addressed at the meeting was whether or not the men were praying with their wives and reading their Bibles with their wives. Many of the men were not doing this, my H included.

He came home after the meeting and sat down with me and prayed for the first time with me, outloud and in my presence about the state of our marriage and the sins he had committed and was seeking forgiveness for. That spoke volumes to me.

I truly believe that what WE are supposed to learn from this are the lessons of ourselves, not of them.

Again, I agree with you. Thank you for putting this into perspective for me. I am occasionally blinded to remembering that all we do on this earth should be for eternal purposes and furthering God's kingdom. My behavior and postings of late have not been a good representation of that.
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LG -
just what explanation does H give for the lack of sex with you?

Ellie

Hello Ellie. Past excuses have been myriad and anything that he could come up with--too tired, too stressed, too full, too hungry, too busy, not interested, health issues, etc--you name it, he has used it--all this from a "former" high libido man. He also has been known to simply ignore my repeated attempts at initiation with no excuse given.

His most current excuse for not having sex with me has to do with how hurt I have been in the past month finding out details about his secret, double sex life, that has been ongoing throughout the past year of reconciliation and he is waiting until he thinks I am comfortable with having sex with him again.

I am considering talking with him about choosing two days of the week for the two of us to have mandatory intimacy time. Not mandatory sex, but mandatory uninterrupted time that we set aside to focus on ourselves and relearn who we are and the rebuilding of our relationship and marriage. If sex happens, well, that will be nice too. And the intimacy time doesn't have to be limited to twice a week, it can be more often, but I would like AT LEAST two days a week of intimate time spent together.

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Hi SC,

As usual, your words speak much sense to me. I have done some intense thinking lately and have decided that I really am not interested in snooping and checking up on my H. If he really wants to change, he needs to want do it on his own.

Tuesday I sat down and destroyed all the recently discovered evidence from the past month or so that I was in possession of or had access to regarding his philandering lifestyle. Doing so gave me much peace. I think I have reached a point finally to stop focusing on my H and instead concern myself with me, my lessons learned, and my growth and healing from this experience. I just would like continued peace in my life and for this crazy rollercoaster ride that I have been on too long to finally stop and let me get off.

LG