Lost, where does the trust come in to play here? You are trying to control his every move. GPS on his car--are you kidding me? You have access to all his accounts? You are trying to have complete control over him. If you want to accept him for who he is and hope he works out his problems, that is one thing. To try to control him and make him the person you think he should be is quite another. I've read your sitch and he has done some completely awful, freaky stuff. I personally would not have been able to stay with someone like that--but I am not you. So if you want to keep your M with this man, I would recommend, getting back to DBing, which means detaching and taking care of yourself. Working on you and becoming who you want to be. You can't change him, only he can. Sounds like he wants too, but only he can do it, you cannot do it for him and all the spying, snooping, investigating, lecturing, pushing is not going to make him do anything different than what he decides to do.
Please take care of you and let him go to figure it out. Be his friend and support if you want to, but stop obsessing about his every move--that is not going to help you or him.
