I am finally learning the truth, but not from my H

[trustinginHim]

If you believe it is still going on - what are you doing to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases? Has he had an AIDS test yet?

Abstinence--has been per his choice, but now most definitely mine. He won't have sex with me. Ummm, I'd say that was a red flag, wouldn't you? Guess it's that rubenesque syndrome thingy that I do NOT suffer from. I am stick thin--probably underweight for my H/W proportions (5'9"/130 pounds)--due to the involuntary infidelity diet I was forced to go on some time ago.

No, he has not had any STD tests. New boundary--before/if we have sex again, he will.

I suspect that most people who hide behind that term (O/C) are really just looking for another way to escape the consequences of their behavior.

Bingo!!

I think your demand that H come clean and get help or it's a deal-breaker is a pretty healthy boundary to have.

Thanks. The only problem is now the timing of all this. His admission of his sexcapades in counseling will have to go on the back burner for awhile as a) his mom is awaiting a biopsy diagnosis today--is her abdominal mass terminal liver cancer or not, and b) will H's 86 year old grandmother survive the weekend and her scheduled surgery to abdominally place a catheter in her bladder because the one in her urethra ain't working so hot.

It appears that my H's little world is about to be rocked, but not in a good way.

You've been through the wringer, Lost - I know I wouldn't have lasted as long as you have.

Thanks for the validation, Ellie. Let's hope I can last a bit longer.

LG