Well, I said I wasn't going to back to physical intimacy without kissing, but scratch that. He approached me and I absolutely could not refuse...maybe it's best not to push that anyway. From what you are all saying, I need to go on his timeline... So, anyway, that is a step in the right direction I guess? I am reading DB. Do you think that mystery is a good thing right now since I am the one who committed the breach of trust? He doesn't seem to react well when I go places at night. I started learning karate about 3 months ago and he didn't even like that at first, although he's fine with it now. I've been trying to think of our progress as a conversation. He makes a move, I validate it and reciprocate with a similar move. Then I wait for him to make his next move. That way, both of us feel like have some control in the direction of the relationship. I hate feeling like a victim and it has been really difficult not to because of the way he's treated me. But I'm getting better. I'm learning that there are ways to reinforce and discourage the way he treats me. I guess I thought no physical intimacy would be a way to discourage the no kissing rule, but I think that element of a relationship is way too important to purposely withhold for any reason. So, I think in the end I think my hormones made the right decision, lol!! How do you all feel about counseling? It seems that my counselor has done a good job at validating my feelings, but I don't think she's offered me ANY advice or tips on how to communicate better or try to understand H's perspective. I think when I first started seeing her, I was so confused about whether or not my feelings mattered and I felt so lost as to who I was. It seemed that whatever H said about me I believed without having and constant "knowing" of my own feelings. So, she has helped in that regard, but now I need someone who's going to look at me and say, "this marriage doesn't have to be over. have you tried this or this?" I guess that's what I'm hoping to get from this site. So far, so good, thanks
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
