I agree with Sun. You need to talk with your H and take responsibility for your part in the downfall of your M. If things start to get heated in your discussion, then agree to talk at a later time and in a calmer manner. If your H isn't willing to talk or listen to what you have to say, then try writing him a letter. Many times in my R I felt like I couldn't get through to my H when I tried to speak with him, so sometimes I decided to write him a letter. He read it when HE was ready, and he came to me when HE was ready to talk. If you decide to go with a letter, and your H initiates the discussion, let him say what he wants first and don't interrupt him. Even if he says something you disagree with or something to hurt you. Remember, he is the betrayed one and he is understandably hurting. I'm not saying you are the monster in all of this, but you have to be sympathetic with him. If you are truly sorry for what you've done, then you really need to express that to him. He needs to feel that from you.
I hope some of this helps. Hang in there. We all understand the pain, anger, and frustration you are going through.
Thanks for listening, JVJKB
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
