I wouldnt say that this sitch can not be overcome. But you have to realize something, that even tho you did not have sex with this person, the emotional betrayel is there for your H. Not to say that you are a horrible person for what has happened, by no means is that the case. In fact what affairs of any kind should teach us is that both parties played a part in the demise of the relationship. For you, your H's drinking probably had alot to do with what was going on, the lack of attention from H. But now try to look at things from H's perspective. He is now hurt, angry and probably embarressed all rolled into one. In my sitch my H is still having his EA and although once or twice he has apologized for hurting me, the apology doesnt mean that much to me because it is still going on. You say you are sorry for something that you did, not still doing. Have you ended all communication with this OM? Have you tried to sit down with H and explain your feelings? If you are sorry for what has happened and your part in the R breakdown than I think that your H really needs to hear it. Dont point fingers, just take responsibility for YOUR actions. Not his.
I know I battle with living in a loveless marriage as well. I am quite surprised that your H is willing to do that for the kids. I think about that alot as well. I only have one D but she is only 2 1/2 and to think that if I stay in that type of R with H, what does that teach her about love?
My suggestion is to read DB and/or DR. But if your H is willing to listen, then talk to him about your feelings, not his.
