Quote: What I don't understand is why she won't even bother to write me to tell to go to hell. I told her in the letter I sent about a month ago that if she ever changed her mind about working on our R, I wanted to hear from her. The ball is sort of in her court.
And this is what I mean. A letter saying if you want to work on us? You might as well have just sent a letter entitled "ultimate pressure". She might be angry or then again she might not want to respond because she percieves that all you want is her back and to talk ad nauseum about the R.
I know you are scared. Especially of the rejection. I can sympathize. JohnDad, I pursue more than most people. You know what? Every time I initiate something with my ex I'm worried I'll be rejected. The first times she was less receptive than she is now. In fact I have been rejected a number of times. It's a test to see if despite the setback whether I can start over again with just sounding friendly. I think what you need is just to try to wedge your foot in the door for starters. The interaction doesn't have to be great...it just hopefully won't be angry and bitter.
My suggestion (and yes...I'm advocating initiating contact) is to call her. Get you nerve up and do it. Say "I ran into so and so today.....or I ran across an old bill for whatever....or I was reminded of you today...and I just wanted to call and see how you and the kids are doing. Hope everything is okay." See how it goes. You'll know if it's not going good so just get off quickly with a "it was nice hearing from you again...have a nice night....bye" And get off the phone first. I dare you. Just do it and post how it went. I'm scared too. Scared that you are going to be dark up until the time she's married someone else.
I'm pretty pushy aren't I. Actually I'm indefatigable.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
