Quote: I just don't get her statement "The reason we are not getting back together again is because you don't love my kids enough. It is my issue and I am not willing to do anything about it."
Sorry for your sitch JohnDad. The step-kid issue is extremely difficult. Truth be told, I think it's the reason that I'm divorced and might not ever be together again. In contrast to you though my ex-W likes to hang out with me. We both have kids and I think the step thing came between us. It is my belief that she thinks it would come between us again if we remarried. It sounds like your ex just chose to hold on to the anger and let it fester and keep you at arms length.
Okay...I usually am optimistic, but your sitch doesn't have the slightest ray of hope to it. At least not how it stands now. It sounds like you have been rebuffed the few times you have tried. But are you absolutely sure that you aren't doing a whole lot of imagining what your ex is thinking and feeling. You've assumed she doesn't miss you at all...maybe she does but refuses to be weak. Who knows? It's just speculation.
So is it possible to poke your head out of the dark and see what's up? Ask how her kids are doing? Can you just call her and try to chit-chat a bit. I mean for no reason at all. As far as I can tell it can't make things any worse. The silence is deafening.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
