1) Review the last phone call and try to make notes as to why she hung up on you. Was there anything there that can be altered, 180'd, improved? Was there a mention of your needs, any resentful tone, etc...? In otherwords, you might plan thoroughly for the next contact with her to be truly acting 'As-If' she loves you, is interested in you, and you are happy as a lark.
2) I'd strongly consider going to a different church/service to do a better job of going dark, adding mystery, and perhaps pulling her to you. I get the picture of her having too much power, strolling into church only to ignore you and the boys. Add some pop to the sitch by not being there, having her look for you, maybe even calling to see what's up. This may help the boys as well. My S5 and I started attending Sat or Sun evening Mass instead of our traditional Sun am one that we attended as a family 'cause W switched to a couple other religions/churches immediately, and S5 was mourning her absence during our time to worship. I found more kid-friendly services and we created a new 'tradition' of prayer for he and I. We still mention W, pray for her, but the empty space beside us is not as striking as it once was. We (meaning S5 and I) feel stronger again as a unit.
