hope, my C said that the DBing is really all about ourselves, not just about the maimed R or M or even about our partner. It took me a while to realize this and then assimilate it into my thinking. The introspection, changes within ourselves, taking care of the kids, and GAL are all about us the person and who we would like to be. Yes, we have moved forward and in some cases, maybe moved on with our lives. During my first D, I had a male friend I spoke to for long lengths of time late at night because we both were insomniacs. I got over that, but he told me over and over how he got past a lost love. He asked himself and in turn asked me for nearly 6 weeks, "why would you want someone who doesn't want you?" I think it is time for you to start asking yourself that hope. The answer lies within you. Be bold and take the next step if you think it is time. If God wants my xw and I to rebuild our R, He will make it happen. That does not mean any of us needs to sit around and pine away for the lost love. GAL and be ready for IF and WHEN it happens. I know may xw made her decision out of anger...some of it from me and a lot of it from her first D. My hope is based in the thought that maybe before it is totally too late, she may realize this and want back the great things she walked away from. You see, I never got the "I don't love you any more" jazz. In fact, I know she still loves me because she told me so the last we talked. So that is what gets me "stuck" but on the other hand, I will not wait around for her to grow up indefinitely...at least I don't think so.
