It took me a while to visit because I don't post as often as I used to, but I wanted to offer you a big embrace and send my support.
I can't add to the good advice from Ellie and everybody. You're right on target -- getting down clear goals -- and being self-accepting and kind no matter what. "Act as if" this will pass. "Act as if" it's his problem. "Act as if" he will find his way out of the tunnel. "Act as if" you have all the time in the world.
I think your H could use a dose of "what would happen if Andrea disappeared" so I invite you on a California spa trip. Come visit and we'll go to the wine country, honey. Pack a lot of sexy little nothings and say nothing about who you're going with...
Also, be sure to do enjoyable (ahem) things just for you, no matter what the H does in bed, know what I mean? It's hard to be happy while frustrated.
Or can you hire a handsome young houseboy?
Only kidding. About the houseboy.
Andrea you are a gem! Keep focusing on your own magic. It's contagious! You are very inspiring.
You are in my thoughts, and I will be following your story with love and hope,
