Thnks Pam... I had almost 2 days without stoping here.. so i didnt read your post... and yes, you are so right.. i was trying to left cigarretes away, bc my child, my S wish and my own health, but i realize this is not the time i can left it, so... although i know my h use to blame about my cigarrete (also he is using tabaco) i now smoke when i need it, even in his presence... bc i know thats is not the cause he is not with me... i can be thiner, yes... will be happy to be... but thats isnt the cause he is confuse also...!.. so... i am doing my life... my neeeds... and i am caring about myself as much as my anxious feeling and sadnes permit me.. Yesterdy i went to a great party and i saw a lot of people from my last world, media world, and it seems i find work... my h is so sttrange... yesterday night he came home and told me he was drinking something with a good good friend from both... so i said... yes, a drink, it seems i needsome drink before going bed... and he answered me, so surprised... " ok... serve two, one for you and one for me...and we drink it, talkng abuanything, with children, without them... etc... but nothing more... he get slept and me too..!!... At the same time ocurred a strange opportunity for me... his nursery open, and i have the possibility to talk with her... she is open and so care about myself and wants to talk to me... So, i think i will take that opportunity to knw if there is someone else in my h world... she is all day besides him, or at least, the most of the day... let see what she can tell me... We went to a dinner today, i was so happy, he too... but again, when we were alone is big wal between us... so i asked him... Hey, do you have an A?.... No... So, you have 3 months without making love?.... yes.... And thats all...! See you around Andrea
