I know how unhappy you are, I can feel it in all of your posts.
I have been thinking about your situation all morning, and felt it necessary to remind you of a few things.
1. Your H is deep deep deep in the midst of an MLC. In order to avoid taking responsibility for his own unhappiness, he is blaming it on you. Don't take this personally, it is NOT about you.
2. Since he is blaming you it SEEMS logical to think that if you were to change things about yourself it would make him love you, make him desire you, etc. BUT since the problems lies within HIM, changing things about yourself will not have the desired effect.
3. You can lose weight, change your hair or dress more sexy, but only do these things if they make YOU happy. As soon as you change one thing about yourself your H will find something else "wrong" about you. I guarantee it.
4. Some may disagree, but I also think that by making changes to win our H back, it looks like we are admitting responsibility for the problems. It is like saying, yes you are right, I was too fat, too ugy too whatever, when in reality the marriage problems were contributed to by two people, not just one.
My advice is to make Getting A Life about you and not about trying to win him back or make him love you because it won't work.
At almost two years post bomb, I am thinner, sexier, and more self confident than ever, but my H is no where close to coming home.
It took me a long time to realize that changing me wouldn't bring him home. His coming home and back to his senses is his own issue.
Your H is on his own journey through the tunnel and it is something he has to figure out for himself.
Hang in there Andrea.
If you have not already read the thread of Hearts Blessing regarding MLC I would highly recommend it.
