Well... after going out for movie, etc... when children were slept... i go to my bed, and made him some affective touch in his arm... he was so disconfort with that... so i asked him... - hey... what will you decide or do?... -I dnt know... he answered... He wasnt so gain about a conversation but he finally shutt off the volume of the TV and began to speak... 1- Again he is trying to put in my life his own history, or the history he wants to makes it true: i am so ugly, fat, that thereis no atraction at all (i am since 4 years ago wearing an 6 or 4 size...)... 2- He said he doesnt know what he wants... that he dreams being with me forever, but he right now isnt happy with me and doesnt feel in calm and happy being with me 3- he express afraid and fear about Legal issue of D... what i said: 1- i loves you, i know our M isnt working but it is bc of you... your confution... 2- I know my history, the real story, and everybody knows it... any one can say i am a fat woman, an uncare woman... and maybe his values changed... and i value a lot more than being like JLO... or someone like that... i am an special woman who loves you so much, who had worked a lot in her M, who is an special mother with my kids... and that i cant change his history but thats the real hisory, mine, and he wont get to makes me feel awfull or angry about myself... i know what i value...a lot more than a kg less or more.... That i loved him fat or thin... and that i wont took any decission about our M... bc i was so clear i loves him, i want my M, so... he has to be the one who takes any decission... i will continue loving him... i also told him about him wanting to get hppiness from out M... and that i dont think at all he will get it... but he doesnt stop thinking outside is the real solution for his confution... and i cant do anything about this, bc it is himself who can resolve his own world... So... here i am, questioning some issues: 1- what if he doesnt loves me anymore?. what DBing has to do with that...? 2- Whats if my C expectations (based on statitics) are true and this disociation will end in the same?... D... I will appreciate your comments... Andrea So...
