Wow! First I'm a little offended that I am putting my son's needs aside "to have a man in my bed". That is a pretty weird thing to say. I did think you made some good points Ellie, but that one was way off base. I think it is hard for someone who isn't in a step family situation to understand this too. My S16 has not had much of a father/son relationship with my H. He has a father and is loyal to him--perfectly natural.
I agree it is my life and I do acknowledge my son's feelings. Always have,to the point of getting in between him and my H trying to control their feelings toward each other. One of the reasons our M got into trouble.
I haven't read Dr.Phil's book yet but my friend has it and thinks it is great too.
I would love for my H and S to go to counseling but right now my S16 would refuse and he is too big for me to make him go. My H and I have been to counseling when my D was in trouble. We had family counseling in our home and my S refused to particpate then--he was about 11 at the time. My H doesn't want to go to C right now either.
I'm leaning toward telling my S that H is coming back but it is going to be sooooo hard!
