Quote: Now I feel I have to choose between the two and it is breaking my heart.
Hi Molliew, I want to thank you for replying to my thread first of all. I guess my advice is this to you. I too have two boys 22 and 19, my wife has 3 girls 21, 16, 14. So when my wife wanted to come back to me, she had the same delimma with her D16 asking how would you feel. I too had to ask my boys that question. My boys had the respect and said well its your life dad, whatever makes u happy. He D16 was reluctant but my W said why don't u want me happy? I do and i do for kids and its never enuf. So she had a long talk with her, but her D16 had issues with me but since we have been back, we have become closer because I had to change my ways with her. I never raised girls for one, that alone had to make me think different and be different.
After several conversations and lots of praying we both decided that this is OUR life to live in happiness and not for the children. Children have to respect and understand that they are 1: the kids who will have a life long after we are gone and 2: we are the adults in any situation.
I would tell your S16 to have faith an believe that WE will make a difference and it will NOT be the same as it was and prove it to him. Allow H to prove it as well. I had to finally realize with her kids that I came into her life with expecations of how I thought her kids needed to be rasied and that was so wrong of me. Kids will be kids, they will make mistakes, but I am the adult that needs to learn how to do things differently.
So don't let your heart feel broken. A good book is Dr Phils new one family togetherness..get it!!
