I know how hard it is not to look at these H's and not want to hit them on the head with a pan to knock some sense into them.
My H left seven months ago and is living with his secretary. She is very much like a guy and H has no friends. I think this a relationship more out of convenience than anything. She is a nut and has a whole lot of baggage. And since the bomb, he has floudered several time and come back once in early Feb.
Did your H go through the MLC stages? I think my H is about to go in full blown withdrawl. I am not sure. He seems to be revisting the stages, anger, denial, depression, reconnecting, etc..Now he is not talking to his family or friends. Very little to kids..But he has seen them.
H also makes innuendo's about me dating, etc. I just blow them off. Keeps asking me about my personal life, etc, checks my cell phone and home phone id when given the chance.
I know they are in replay when they are with OW..But I am not sure..
Did your H reconnect with friends and family before he came home?
And, did he go on any AD's? My H has been given Effexor but OW doesn't want him to..He said he had to hide the perscription from her.
We also went bowling as a family yesterday. I kept it light and we all had fun.
Anyway, did your H have OW? And if so, how did he end it?
Just curious..I need to pick someones brain about all this stuff cause not too many people on MLC posts are going through reconnecting..It's like he has his feelers out and I am not biting the bait.
My situation was a bit different. H never moved out because he wanted to keep the house and therefore expected me to leave. I was taking my time because of the financial aspect (I asked him to refinance the house first so that my name would be taken off the mortgage in case he was not able to pay all of the bills) and when I was finally mentally ready to make a move and told him about it - that's when he knew he run out of time and asked to reconcile.
He is on Effexor and has been taking it for only couple of weeks before he asked to reconcile and is taking it still. He will most likely be on it for about a year. He has some of his own demons to fight that have nothing to do with our M and that's why he wants to stay on it.
He had an OW - supposedly they just kissed, went out to dinner once and couple of lunches in between. That's according to him - don't know how much faith I put in it. I'm trying though. She is a co-worker (supposedly works on different floor and he barely sees her at all now - he used to make that effort when he was pursuing her) but only a part timer. According to him, she never had much interest in him and actually used him as a rebound from her R with someone else. I don't feel sorry for him at all when it comes to that.
My H always had a weird R with his family - they are not local and he talks to them maybe once a month, he never abondoned his friends or was abondoned by them.
Funny, my H just got a perscription for Effexor as well..How long does it take to "kick in"? Just curious..
The problem is that OW threw it out the window when she saw it..I did a no no and I got it filled in my name knowing that H wouldn't see a doctor. So, when OW saw it was a perscription with my name on it she flipped..Turns out, someone called me who found it and I returned it to H. Now he said he has to hide it from OW so he keeps on forgetting to take it..Like a bad soap opera..Give me a break.
My H has demons as well. That have nothing to do with me or M. I think he thought they all were because of me until I took myself out of the equation..Funny when that happens. I guess that is the good part of detaching..
You sound like you are doing very well, crushed..I am so happy for you!
