Hope, loving someone is a decision...one that requires reinforcement. We just aren't indeterminantly in love with anyone, including our spouses in a healthy marriage. It takes work, constant decision to love, commitment and reinforcement. Those of us who are feeling the love diminish as we detach are normal as Ioavva posted. Even those who have constant interaction with their distanced spouse or ex-spouse will feel a diminished affection/love if the feelings are constantly not reaffirmed or reciprocated. I, at this very moment of writing this, have felt a diminishing love for my XW of 5 months now, but just as I write this last sentence, I can not explain why I feel love for her once again welling up in my chest. I love her so very much, yet, she has not told me she loves me since September of last year and we have not even spoken to each other this calendar year. We have exchanged one letter from her and three from me. If you include a few emotionless emails, then there has been a couple exchanged this year. I still love her. I can not explain why other than I still have hope of a R (can't explain why other than just blind faith) and I made a very true and firm commitment to her on August 18, 2001 in a marriage ceremony in our church...the one we all still attend. I made a promise to her before our God...one that I take extremely seriously. One that, unfortunately, she has chosen to no longer honor. blehhhhh...
Hang in there...it will get easier, it will get better. We will all recover for we all down, deep and earnestly in the very core of our being have an undying desire to survive...and that we shall in good form when the mourning of the lost R/M is finally done.
