I don't know what to tell you. I have been following your posts (not able to post still) and seem to think you still need time to work through your anger. Also, I posted and you will see that I am not in the best place to give advice. I think advice from me would just get you further from wife. Just wanted to say hello.
I do think that as long as you are still angry it is best to just say as little to wife as possible. I was angry at H too for a long time. I got past this by humility. I realized my mistakes in the situation and focused only on that. It worked for me. Once I realized what I had done wrong and was truly humbled, I realized that I had no right to be angry at H because we were both equally wrong. I then told H only about my mistakes and how sorry I am. This caused him to soften and show remorse towards me even though he is more open to what I did wrong than what he did wrong. The better I got at this the less I felt the need to get an apology from H for all the things he did to hurt me. I can truly say that I can live the rest of my life and be OK with never receiving an apology. Humility created this because I now know I am no better than he was during our marriage.
From my post that I just posted it may seem that I am still angry at H, but please realize that I am angry about what is happening now not about what happened in the past. At least I hope you can see that. Who knows maybe I am still focusing on the past without knowing it. Let me know what you think.
I am so happy you have your kids to keep you grounded. At least they are there to give you joy and help you to keep moving forward in this difficult time in your life.
