I am considering less complimenting. I'm really on the fence with this one. I know she wanted affirmation from me in the past. I always appreciated her, but never told her. On the other hand she really doesnt seem to appreciate the compliments.
As for going out, I'm definetly not looking for a R. Additionally I think W would be happy to see me dating, she actually told me this!! I just want to go out and cut loose a little. Its something for me to do.
Jo, I just cant help but feel the XW really means it when she says she looks forward to the day I start dating.
The date was pretty much a disaster. I just wanted to have a little fun, but I think the girl was looking for a husband. It'll be awhile before I try that again.
The boys really enjoyed seeing my grandfather. My grandfather actually asked about XW. Kinda wierd that my family is still interested in her, but I know they all love her very much.
I'm still very angry with her. When she calls, I'm less than upbeat, I'm basically short to the point and no chit-chat. I plan to work on this. I need to be more upbeat around her.
Definitely don't be snappy with her (I cried in front of my H today, don't copy me!).
She won't want someone short with her. I know it's exhausting, but you need to cheerful and confident so she will want to have you in her life.
OMG, your date sounds like a nightmare! I was the opposite with men when I dated ('just sleep with me and then leave', lol). One guy kept asking me to marry him, like he thought because he'd seen me a few times we had to get married! I couldn't make him understand that I was just having fun.
Quote: The date was pretty much a disaster. I just wanted to have a little fun, but I think the girl was looking for a husband. It'll be awhile before I try that again.
For those of us who have been off the market for decades, but who might wind up back in it if the current M death spiral continues, what does a disaster date look like? Not interested in any prurient details, just wondering what would make it a disaster. From where I sit now, after months with no female companionship of any sort, almost any "date" sounds like an improvement.
I'll tell you about a 'disaster' date from the female point of view. I dated someone for a while and even on our first dates, he was always trying to kiss me, wouldn't get off me etc - and kissed like a vaccum cleaner, ugh.
His idea of a nice date was going down the fish and chip shop. The most exciting thing we ever did was watch a film and eat Chinese food.
The first sexual encounter was great, which mistakenly led me to believe the rest would be. I repeatedly told him that it was just fun for a few weeks, I was going through a D, didn't want an R etc.
The second time we slept together, he told me he loved me and kept saying it all the time. I made no response. Third time, he asked me to marry him, and kept asking 'don't you feel anything?' - I said it was just a fling as we agreed at outset (he was just D as well).
Then he got angry, said I misled him (even though I didn't) and ended up on depression meds for some kind of break down. He would text me 35 times in one day, call up all the time, even 6 months after I stopped seeing him.
He still called once or twice after H came back into my life and refused to leave me alone so I had to tell the police in order that he stop bothering me.
After police call I never heard from him again.
THAT is a disasterous dating experience!
He made my H seem really uncomplicated and easy going in comparision!
Quote: I'll tell you about a 'disaster' date from the female point of view. I dated someone for a while and even on our first dates, he was always trying to kiss me, wouldn't get off me etc - and kissed like a vaccum cleaner, ugh.
THAT is a disasterous dating experience!
He made my H seem really uncomplicated and easy going in comparision!
Yeah, that definitely sounds like a disaster. I imagine that, rusty as I am, I would do better than fish & chips, movies, and vacuum cleaner kisses. Even so, he survived long enough for several dates. How bad could a first date be?
Jo-Thanks for confirming that I need to be less snappy with her.
This morning she called and left a message 10 minutes before I was to walk out the door for work, she wanted me to take our little one to daycare. I didnt call her back, it ticks me off that she thinks I will just drop everything and run to help her out. I could have done it, but it would have made me late for work. She could have called last night and made arrangements. Does it sound like I'm being petty?
Yes, Jo you had a disasterous experience with that fellow. My experience wasnt that bad. It was just weird, she was very clingy. We left it at I will call her the next time. I will not be calling her. Hopefully, that will be the end.
JRB, Dont let Jo and I scare you. I know there must be plenty of dateable people out there. You just gotta find them.
Maybe next time you could explain why it is not possible to pick up your child, i.e
'I'm sorry W but I can't because I will be late for work, however on such and such a time, I can help you out.'
Meet her half-way. This is your child too and it's not fair for either of you to involve that child in your M problem. It isn't his fault. However, I agree that you shouldn't be at her beck and call every time, just there for your child as is reasonable.
She has to learn to act like a single mother to a degree, with all the responsibilities that come with that. It's striking the balance, though.
I totally understand why you feel used/hurt etc. I have felt like that too.
