Ellie - It does seem to pour over here I was just wondering how your H must be feeling - arguably D's issues did get impacted by his a, and every one of these episodes must be a painful reminder.
Oh, I think H is okay in that department - I don't think he gets lost in blaming himself. And truly - as much as the whole thing did shake up the kids and have repercussions - I think most of what has gone on with D has more to do with her inheriting H's predisposition to depressive illness. (I say that, but even though I've never been the least bit depressed, there does seem to be some clinical depression hidden in my family tree also, so I can't say it all comes from H's side. The obsessive-compulsive thing, though - DEFINITELY not from my side ).
In fact, H has always been particularly close with D and been a very attentive and positive parent. I think it disturbs him most to feel like he did everything he could to raise her to be a strong, self-sufficient, confident young woman, and he just can't believe she isn't turning out that way (yet - give her time ).
I forgot to mention, H is also particularly upset today, because of two tragedies in the families of nurses he works with. One has a nephew who was at the wrong party at the wrong time and was shot in the head, not expected to live, brain-dead. The other lost her oldest son (22) suddenly and unexpectedly - we don't know more than that. Puts things in perspective.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I was just wondering how your H must be feeling - arguably D's issues did get impacted by his a, and every one of these episodes must be a painful reminder. 
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