Quote: I hope things are mellowing out for your D, how is she doing?
Well, she is doing better, but yesterday she found ex-BF had hacked into her IM and email and deleted all her contacts. When confronted he claimed his "friend" had done it (not!). She was pretty freaked out because he left his IM contact in a folder labeled "god".
I spoke with his father, and expressed our concern - both ABOUT his son and FOR his son (D tells me now that his psychiatrists think he may be bipolar). BF later sent D an apology, and claimed he dumped her because he was getting manic and pushed her away because he didn't want her to get hurt, etc.
The good thing is, D seems very clear during all this, she is concerned about him of course, but really wants nothing more to do with someone who would dump her like that, then do all this weird stuff after. She's learning some hard lessons very young. Ellie
Oh, and SG, about the co-ops - they were started at Berkeley during the depression, by students who were trying to save costs by banding together to share a house. The co-op association is still student-run and now houses over 1200 students at Berkeley.
Ellie Sure God puts things on the road to help us... Yes, he puts that hacker maniac acttitude just to show your girls he is not the one...!!... Stay around Andrea
yeah, I should get lots of opportunities to hang out with you over the next four years!
(Oh - and no on the puppy - H and I were just having that discussion the other day, that our dog will probably die about the time the last kid moves out, and how we want to travel a lot then and be free of the responsibility of a dog).
I'll be sure to let you know next time I am up there.
How are you doing? Seeking advice again. Still struggling with the trust issue. I had decided not to get any PI to follow H as think this just adds to the undermining of trust in the M.
I realise from other stuff that has happened that H does not appear to be up to anything. Here's the thing: I lost it big time last Saturday. Thought H was with some ow when he was at his bar with friends.
I accused him of lying, said I was sorry I ever met him, that it was a major mistake to marry him etc. You get the picture.
All of this was said calmly but constantly over Sunday.
I found out H really was at the bar all of Saturday.
Now H says he feels boxed in and trapped and that if this does not stop we need to go our separate ways.
I am scared but also angry. H was one who had an A, he will not acknowledge it and continues to deny and I'm the one to get my act together!?
Don't mean to hijack your thread. Any advice would be appreciated. How do I deal with this? I still want the M.
I have enjoyed keeping up with you on this message board. I too have a child graduating and going off to college. We didn't have near the choices of colleges that your son has. Congratulations on Berkeley. I know you must be very proud.
Have you heard from GBO and Maya lately? I have been thinking about them a lot. I wish they were still posting here. Please update us if you can.
Hang in there with your daughter. She needs your love and support.
I spoke with GBO this week. Her H is still in full alien mode. She put her foot down when he wanted to bring OW to GBO's church for the kid handoff! What is it with these people - they seem to have no shame at all parading their adultery around in churches.
Ugh. You said it, Ellie. Glad GBO is steadfast and strong. I'll try and drop her an e-mail soon.... hoping she and Maya and Azure have a chance to catch up with SD, who I'll be seeing on Tuesday.
Have a great weekend!
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
As I mentioned earlier, D's ex-bf hacked into her IM and web page. Spoke with his dad, resolved that. Then last week, ex-BF tells D he got jumped by some guys in an alley and thinks she is behind it (absolutely not!) and tells her someone reported him to the school office for making threats and he is getting kicked out of school (thinking she did it - she did not - and no, he's not getting kicked out of school).
So - H and I go away for the weekend, and while my mom is here with the kids, some older teenage girl comes to the door at 9:30 at night. D doesn't know her, but she claims to be there to talk to D's mom, accusing D of attempting to sell drugs to her younger sister at the school. My mom is pretty smart for 73, and asks for a lot of specifics, which very rapidly start NOT to add up. (Turns out to be all lies - see below).
I call ex-bf's dad to tell him about our visitor - who has the same first name as a friend of the ex-bf's - the friend he stood my D up for a few weeks ago, telling D he had to take her some money because this girl owed some drug dealers! Turns out it WAS his friend, she admits doing it to BF's dad, says she "doesn't know why she did it" (ummmm - could you say "ex-bf put me up to it"???).
There's more, but it's just too weird. Poor D is freaking out - she's learning a really hard lesson in what happens when you hang out with people who do NOT have their acts together. Meanwhile, we have no idea who really did beat up the BF - D has not been the least bit retaliatory in her moods and emotions towards the ex-bf, and doesn't know any "tough kids" (other than ex-bf) anyway - but could she have talked about her woes to someone who decided on their own to punish him? We can't imagine who. Or is he in trouble with drug dealers and telling this as a story to cover it up (his father says he's being tested and he's clean, but ex-bf told my D after they broke up that he was dealing?).
Scary, weird stuff. Mind you - when I say "bf" - all they were ever allowed to do together was watch movies on the couch with adult supervision.
The sad thing is, I do feel really sorry for ex-bf's dad. He's older - around 70 - and his wife is a WAW, last week was the one year anniversary of the bomb, they are still embroiled in the divorce. He called me back tonight to follow up on things and was getting really uncharacteristically short with me (usually we have communicated well). I think he's falling apart, and his son is either disturbed, or finding a way to fake his urine drug tests.
Can you tell I'm getting sick of all the melodrama in my life????????? Ellie
